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Review:padfoots girl says:
Here with my review, as promised! ^_^

This was a good story for me to curl up in bed and read. It was definitely enjoyable. Marisol was a believable character who had her insecurities and her strengths and I really liked her. James, as well, had a good personality, although at times I felt he was whining just a bit too much for my liking. That's just my opinion, though, I've never been a fan of characters complaining more than necessary, you know?

As an overview, everything seemed to flow rather nicely. Your characters were good, the story line was good, and I kept racing through the chapters, crossing my fingers for Marisol and James. My only complaint would be that it felt somewhat rushed and a little bit forced. James and Marisol started liking each other SO quickly and it just seemed like if you had taken a few more chapters to spread it out over, it would have worked a bit better.

As for the forced parts, it's just the way your sentences flowed, sometimes, particularly in the first few chapters. At least in my mind, it seemed a bit choppy and you chose to tell, more than show, if that makes sense. Like, when you started describing people, I just felt like I was reading a list of their physical traits, rather than imagining what they looked like from detailed description, you know?

Besides that, though, this story was great. Really, I loved it and it was a really nice read. I'm so glad that they ended up together and I'm sure in your sequel you're planning a whole lot for them. ^_^ Wonderful work, dear! Keep it up.

-Alex/renegade on TGS

Author's Response: Yes, I quite agree that James and Marisol did get together rather fast, but my reason for doing this was because there are plenty of teenagers in real life that are fast to get together. At least that was how it when I was in high school... and some people at college are also quick to get together as well. And as for the choppy sentences and descriptions, I quite agree with you but I just can\\\'t bring myself to edit the first few chapters because I like going back to read them just to see how much I\\\'ve improved in my writing.

Thanks so much for the review, I very much appreciate it! And the sequel only has Marisol and James as minor characters in it as it focuses more on Holden Summers and his quest to find the girl behind the mask that he talked to on New Year\\\'s Eve night at the Potters\\\' masquerade party. Thanks again for reviewing! ;)


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