Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:CrazyForYou says:
Hey! It's CrazyForYou from the forums, but I'm unable to log in, so here's your review :)

First, let me congratulate you on a beautiful banner. It's really well done.

About your story:
Well, I really like the event you chose to tackle. I think it definitely has a lot of potential to be both a huge turning point in the lives of Albus, Alberforth and the rest of the Dumbledores, but also to be a key even in the relationship between muggles and wizards, at least in the area of Mould-on-the-Wold. But I think you did something that I hadn't really thought about, and portrayed this traumatizing event from the eyes of the girl who experienced it.

I like the emphasis on the stillness and the purple daisies. Because it helps add contrast to the action that starts at her scream.

I was confused at the part where she talks about having powers. I'm not really sure what she did.

I also had a really hard time seeing the boys as evil. I wasn't sure what caused them to gang up on her. She's six years old, playing in a field, tips over a bee hive, screams, boys come running, and then they attack her. It seemed to me like there was something missing.

Other than that, great job and really interesting perspective to choose to write from.
Great job!
8/10

Author's Response: thank you very much for the lovely review. what happened was Ariana was performing magic when the beehive tipped over and therefore startled the Muggles below on the hill. if you read her bio on lexicon it says it all. anyways, i am very glad that you liked this. it was for a challenge to write about Ariana and i really enjoyed writing this first chapter. thanks again.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net