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Review:lacewings says:
Love is dangerous =]

And this is amazing - I'm not just saying that because of the possibility of a cyber-brownie. It really is incredible. The only thing that kind of bothers me is the way that they talk to each other in the second half of the chapter. I just feel like that's not how normal people talk - there words come out to smoothly and planned. I feel like it would be a little more jumbled, there are so many emotions and thoughts tumbling out at the same time.

Otherwise, incredible. Love the ending. 9/10

Author's Response: thanks so much, & kudos for the honesty! i did want it to go smoothly though, that was the only thing i guess... i wanted it to kind of complete itself at the end, you know? because it was just a one-shot, and i didn't want readers feeling like they were missing out :) thx for the review!

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