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Review:CrazyForYou says:
Hey! It's CrazyForYou from the forums, here with your review :]

Well, I'll start at the beginning. The beginning has an interesting flashback to, what I assume to be, her childhood. The "it's all in the hips.." has me confused over who said it. There's too many 'she'd' in the sentence. I think you mean her mother would say it, but it can also be interpreted to mean the girl, so you might want to clean that up if you revise this again.

Enter the tied down man. Right from the beginning, I can tell that he's going to end up dead, by the girl's hand. So in that aspect, it is very predictable. But at the same time, because it is so predictable, it works because the audience then knows that his pleas are falling on deaf ears.

This statement has me torn. “You had me, darling.” On the one hand, I really like how it's open to my interpretation of what she means. On the other, I wish I knew more about the two and their pasts.

There are some parts where I feel the seductive aura that I feel you're trying to have Rose portray. There are other moments when I feel like she's a child, pretending to be an adult, much like playing dress-up. But there definitely are moments where I picture Audrey Hepburn with her harsher voice and her cigarette holder in hand, so good job there.

I'm kind of confused with the characters you've chosen to use, especially since I'm not really given any background on the events leading up to this death.

But, as far as this one-shot goes, in terms of a snapshot into the life and death of Scorpius Malfoy, I think it is well done. Even though the mood isn't consistent throughout, when the seductiveness is present, it is very effective.

Good job!

Author's Response: Wow, long review :) Hello!

The beginning may seem a little confusing because of the extensive use of the word "she", but I didn't want to give too much of the plot away straight away in the first paragraph. :)

Far enough on your opinions :) I wanted the reader to be able to interpret the events of the story as they wished - a little more innovative of a story, in a way. Still, the shortness does perhaps leave a little too much to desire.

Thanks for your great review!


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