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Review:Adler1613 says:
Okay. Just a few tips. S l o w i t d o w n. This is all going WAY too fast and I can barely keep up with what's going on! I LOVE the story line, I just think you need to slow down and put more details in so it's more understandable. I used to want to go superfast because I was SO excited to get it out on paper... er... computer. But! Going fast makese it only half good. So... go slower and put more details in!

Author's Response: I agree. I've been shaping the plot a bit more; minor tweaks. I agree it is totally going fast (and much different from what it was originally intended). Thank you for your review!

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