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Review:alanapotter says:
Stunning. Utterly beautiful.

I am absolutely mesmerized, there are not enough adjectives in the English language for me to describe this piece.

Your writing is elegant, the different pieces carefully entwined to bring the audience into Frank's mind as he slowly decays into the person we know. I love how you used Alice as a trigger to his demise - his loss of self. Your descriptions were very prominent, but not over the top, and the way you use his thoughts to describe everything makes dialogue useless (note here, I'm a very big fan of dialogue as a way to get to know the character better, so what I mean is that the way you wrote his thoughts, dialogue would've ruined the story).

The integration of the flashbacks was also incredible! It flowed magnificently and really allowed me to connect with Frank as a person.

And of course, being the grammar policewoman that I am, I'm going to suggest a proofread for a couple simple mistakes... There was one sentence that said I instead of A... but nothing important, it didn't drag the story down at all.

I really loved this piece! Fabulous job! It's also being added to my favorites list :]


Author's Response: wow, thank you so much Jill! Your words are so encouraging and I'm truly flattered and honoured that you could say such things about my writing. Thank you so much for reviewing!

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