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Review:alanapotter says:
Cute! :]

Again, your descriptions are lovely! You've picked the perfect words for all situations: setting, emotions, the squeak of the door! Just marvelous! Not to mention that I hardly see any repetition of them... which only makes writing stronger!

I'm interested in the story and would really like to see where you're taking this... it's a fantastic plot that you've set up and can only get better!

Again, the only thing I would change about it is include more dialogue; while I was interested while reading it, and there was more... I feel that more speaking would've resonated more with me, personally. However, I also see how difficult it would be to work this into a chapter like this... hopefully soon though! I'd love to see how these characters actually start to talk with one another!

Keep up the good work!
-alana

Author's Response: thank you so much for the lovely review. yes, i agree, there should be a bit more dialogue, but i can guarantee that there is some to come. i am just beginning to open things up at the moment and adding too much speaking and all would amount to major distraction and displacement. thank you so much for the review.

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