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Review:ChoS_sista_gurl says:
So I'm by no means a slash expert. I've only written one slash story, but people seemed to like it so I'll give a shot at some advice.

A big part of writing romance [slash or not] isn't the sex, it's the dialogue, the back-and-forth between the two characters. You have to establish each character's stance on the relationship very clearly, or else the interaction isn't very strong, and the sizzle dies. The tension is what keeps readers wanting more. Do you get what I mean?

Gahh, it's really hard to explain. I read tons of slash stories before I wrote mine, so maybe you should try reading more of them. Even plain old romance might help. I think this story was based on a really nice idea, and has great potential, so don't give up!

~CSG

Author's Response: Thanks very much for your review! Please do not feel bad. I am really good with critizism. I knew that the story was not very good when I put it up. But I couln't do anything to change that on my own. I have read a lot of slash, and I knew mine couldn't compare. But being a poor writer of one story did not bother me the help i could get from opinions like yours will help, and I plan on editing and adding to this story in the future. Thanks you very much for your support it really means a lot to have someone finnally take the time to review. :)

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