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Review:Rhiannon Nokomis says:
Well. I thought their fight heated up a little too quickly in the beginning, but you definately hit all the high notes that were needed. Mostly, I think I would have just waited a bit longer before the cussing kicked in. And - maybe, just for some contrast - you might consider adding a touch of things going on inside Lupin's head as well, to even out her shock and anger with his fear-disguised-as-anger. :)

But your dialogue is paced properly, your actions are very well timed, and you have a firm grip on what's going on in your plot. Very well done.

Author's Response: I am going to take a second look at that chapter and see what I can do to make it a little more realistic. I appreciate your feedback - how you can critique and still be supportive and constructive. Surely you're an english teacher? :)

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