Wonderful idea for the Mirror & Draco, I've always thought that Draco needed some soul-searching and this is the perfect outlet. You started this piece out so strongly and with such a great purpose. The theme of Draco's hidden loneliness is clearly visible - you establish that right from the start, so that's good.
My main problem with this piece is that it is too short I know it's a one shot, but you don't offer any sort of resolution. while I understand this is an ambiguous piece, the story has to go somewhere. I am left feeling like I just watched the trailer of a movie...unless you've got part two still to come of this one-shot, you really have to develop the Snape thing more. You describe his personality in 2 sentences at the end. I don't understand anything significant about Snape from this brief, hasty description. Maybe get Draco to reminisce about the time Snape tried to turn him to the good side, or offered him advice and comfort but Lucius just snubbed him. Add some detail...make it up if you need to. you've got a great idea, so go with it!
Also, you say, "Lucius Malfoy loves him, dotes on him even" I wouldn't say this is particularly true, just look at the way Lucius talks to Draco at Borgin and Burkes in book 2, blaming him for not outscoring Hermione. I think you'd be more convincing sticking with the point that Lucius is always expecting too much from Draco, in every single aspect from academics to Quidditch. Snape has been abused in his life and knows what that feels like, and so Draco finds himself drawn emotionally to Snape because they've both been trodden on by crazy, overbearing fathers and have disappointed them.
Author's Response: Thank you for this review and all your comments. I am very pleased you liked the general concept, and the start - which I do agree, is probably the stronger part of this fic.
Now, I don't mean to belittle any of your comments at all, and I do appreciate them, but I have to admit I don't agree with them all. Firstly, the length. I did agonise for some time over the shortness of this piece. There was even a time when it was somewhat longer. However, if anything this piece has taught me that you do not need to necessarily go anywhere in order to achieve what you set out too. I deleted a chunk of writing that was, clearly, just filler - and distracted from the purpose of this piece. That purpose isn't about Lucius, or even Snape. It's about Draco, and to highlight the insecurity and troubles he suffered during HBP. In all honesty, I think that HBP itself provides all the ending you need to this. You konw where it goes, so why add meaningless stuff just for word count?
Back to Snape, you said you thought there should be more significance to him. But the only significance I intended him to have was as a representative to Draco's gut feeling that there is, perhaps, a different path to walk other than what is expected of him. I chose Snape as an ironic figure, given what we, the audience, know about him.
I agree, Lucius doesn't dote on Draco. But again, this story is from Draco's pov, and I think Draco believes himself to be doted on. He gets everything he wants, in a material sense, and I can easily imagine Draco equating this to love. Power and money areimportant to him more than affection. It's supposed to be another one of those scenes where we, as an audience, can sympathise with how wrong Draco has got it, because we know better.
I did enjoy reading your review though, and all your comments. Thank you very much for taking the time