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Review:harmony5 says:
I liked it; the plot's there, but it still needs developing. For a first fic/chapter though, it's very good. I would suggest leaving spaces bettween lines. If it's not dialogue and you're just describing the setting or whatever, it's fine, but to make it more appealing and grammatically correct, try to leave a space between each line of dialogue. It will make it look much cleaner and easier to read. On a different note, I know you're just starting out with this, but try to build on the depth of the character's personalities more; bring out the traits that we can relate to, for example, give a Harry a stronger composition. It'll seem more natural. Other than that though, great work! 7/10.

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