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Review:Browneyes101 says:
I'm here as requested. :)

I would just like to say that I'm truly sorry that I made you wait this long for a review, I'm normally not like this. I was just studying so hard for my exams that I really had no time for anything else. Now, I know that in my rules it says that I review three chapters but I'm only going to review one with you because I want to catch up with all my reviews, but you are more than welcome to come back when the slots are open. Now on with the review!

I really loved your detail in this chapter! I love any kind of small detail, and this chapter has detail written all over it. The description that you put into this is amazing for I do think that besides the characters the description is the most impotant thing, but that's just me. Your dialog does need some work but it doesn't take away from the plot that you're setting.

I really don't have anything to work on in this chapter besides compacting your paragraphs. You have so many spaces in your chapters that it can be a turn off for a picky reader. I suggest combining them into one big paragraph instead of many small paragraphs it would bring in those picky readers and look more organized.

Hope I helped. 9/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing. The spacing was sort of screwed in this chapter anyway. Don't worry abou ttaking so long. You at least got here... :) I hope i can request again so i can get your input on the rest of the chapters.

thanks so much. The dialogue is meant to be somewhat awkward between Maddie and Sirius in this chapter just because she doesn't know him all to much at the moment

Thanks for taking your time and reviewing. I'm glad you liked it :)


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