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Review:Rose Wilts says:
Hey there, it's Rose here with your review ^^

Well, you were concerned about understandability, and I must confess, I found myself a little confused, but that's only because you described Sirius's confusion so well! Ha ha, sorry I just had to say that.

Really though, your descriptions were all so wonderful. I was so drawn into them, they were almost smothering, but in a good way (I even manged to block out the sound of 'The Sims' being played in the background.)

Everything was just so well thought out, but never ordered, if you know what I mean. It all made sense in the end. I really loved it.

Sirius and Lily are so sweet together, even though it can never amount to anything. You certainly did them justice in this piece and the fact that they might 'hook up' in the afterlife makes perfect sense. Honestly, it's such a wonderful idea.

Everything flowed really well too. At the start, a couple of your sentences seemed a little wordy, but that's usually the way. In my experience at least flow problems occur at the beginning, before you're really into it. But really, it was such a minor issue I can't even remember what it was anymore.

This piece was so well done and I really enjoyed reading it! :) Wow, fantastic job. You certainly have a talent for writing (and graphics) He he. Couldn't resist.

- Rose

Author's Response: Oh yay! Thank you very much for coming in to review this one for me. ^_^

Sirius's confusion was in itself confusing. :P Good, it should have been - I was trying to really get into his head, placing the reader in his position of being entirely lost in this new place. I'm glad that worked out without becoming too confusing so that it made it hard to read. :)

Perfect, with Sirius's confusion, I was worried that the flow of the narrative would go down the tube. Wordy? Not surprised there - I'll take a look through for them. Those are things I do a lot. *hides*

Thank you so very much for this review. It's extremely helpful. =D


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