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Review:RoseLolly says:
I really enjoyed this. Often first chapters can come off rather bland, but no, you've introduced your characters nicely =) Really well, really. Lily is quite original-definitely jazzy what you've done with her. And her friends, their conversations flow freely, and you've managed to really show their relationships without forcing it onto us.

I'm not really one for the flat out, one paragraph cram sessions on characters and their appearances. And while you did sort of wobble about on the line about, you gave yours a bit of a quirk. Which definitely made up for it =) "She had a (well concealed) lively sense of humour which delighted in the ridiculous."

I especially liked your wording there, with the delighting/ridiculous bit. So yes, I love your girls, the way Nia calls Lily hers-that was a nice touch. I've only got one bit of concrit really, and it's more of a personal opinion, so it's not know? Bleh. Haha.

It's tricky, because I know so many people are taught differently. But during your dialogue, you seem to skip out on punctuation. Their sentences should still end with periods, etc...I think so, anyway...It just distracted me a tad, because I didn't get the er, closure, I'm used to. yeah...

Anyway. I'm off to read more. Really promising first chapter =)


Author's Response: Okay, I think it is a teaching thing because I've never been taught any other way really. It might be part of the mysterious atlantic divide because I'm guessing you're either American or Canadian, since you called it a period. That might be it.

I am sorry though that it should distract you and honestly I would change it only as I've never really been told to do otherwise, I'd feel funny about it. I hope you don't take offense, because I really did appreciate this review and I'd rather hear it than not hear it so thank you! And honestly, if I could do it, I would.

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