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Review:HarryPotter is my LIFE says:
Good start to the story, I've never seen Big Brother, but this is an interesting start.

A few things:

"It says: Welcome. You have been accepted onto the Bi0g Brother show, along with ten other people. You have one hour to pack and arrive at the Big Brother house. You should be warned that the reward to be one of the last two in the game is great. 1st palce: 500,000 galleons. 2nd place: 50,000 galleons. I'm doing it. What about you guys?"

This little bit of dialogue is confusing. I had to read the last part twice so that I was sure that Harry had stopped reading the letter and started expressing his opinion.

Also, as Remus introduced the characters, you neglected to include Hermione.

Both very small things, but effect the overall quality of the story just the same.

In all, it was a very entertaining start. My advice, however, is that you slow down a little bit; add a little more description, "show" a little more. Put in more characterization and emotion. Versues the large amount of dialogue and "telling" description that you use. I look forward to reading more. :)

Also, I responded to your review, but decided to leave you one incase you didn't check; I'd be happy to make a banner for you, just contact me in the forums, or give me all the info I need through a review.

Author's Response: Thank you!
My banners are horrible, so I needed a new one.


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