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Review:crazy4fred2 says:
It's pretty good, but I have a few suggestions.

#1 Okay as far as their personalities go it's a little... overdone. Don't get me wrong, some of the charcteristics are realistic, like Cassandera's embarassment around Remus, although that's in most romances. But it's Claudia more that bugs me. There are many fics about devilish girls, also ones that act cooly around Sirius. That's not a bad thing, just try to make it mor original.

#2 Cassandera's piercings don't fit her character. I don't know if you intended it to be that way or not, it just stood out to me, I'm paranoid about those kinds of things. Everything should have a purpose. Also, almost all schools would never allow piercings, besides the ears.

#3 I like the sibling interaction, it's pretty believable.

#4 I didn't see any grammer or spelling issues, so kudos!

#5 My last suggestion is to plan out your charcters a bit more. Somone once told me that everything may make sense in your head, but not so much so to the reader on paper.

Overall, a good job. Keep up the work.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review, criticism is much appreciated!

1. The reason their personalities are slightly overdone is because we made them that way, we wanted people to see the immediate difference between them. It's part of the plot, though obviously we can't give it away just yet...

2. This is how we intended Cassandra to be. She's mainly only shy and clumsy when she's around Remus and it puts the point across that you should never judge a book by its cover, which is kind of the look we're going for. And also, this work is purely fiction and obviously we know that schools don't allow facial piercings, but it's just a story and we're using artistic liscence. Sorry if this annoys you.

3. Thanks very much, we are just like sisters and mainly used dialogue from everyday life.

4. HAHA, bexi is a complete grammar nazi, so thank you very much for that. :D

5. It may seem to you that we haven't planned our characters out very well but believe me, we really have. We spent several hours on this and writing the plot so everything that is written is meant to be as it is. It may not make much sense now but as the story unfolds so will their personalities and characteristics.

Thank you very much again, we appreciate your criticism and hope our feedback answers your questions and queries.

-becky and lauren.


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