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Review:Elf_ears13 says:
I really enjoyed the pacing of this piece - it all unfolded so naturally that it didn't even seem uncanon. Lovely. I especially liked the way you brought in little Potterish details, like seeing "into people's souls as quickly as a dementor could suck it out." This really feels like a little slice of canon that went unnoticed, tucked away in the recesses of Rowling's brain, and I love it. The cogs and the clockwork, green on grey, everything was so poetic and wonderful.

There were a few cases toward the beginning that sounded odd - an it's in place of its, the Marauders "barge" in rather than the past tense "barged" - which sort of made that part sound awkward in comparison with the fluidity of the second half. I love love love the dialog, especially when Lily realized how cheesy she sounded and blushed. It all sounded so real, so aptly awkward. Wonderful.

Author's Response: thank you so much!

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