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Review:Beyond the Veil says:
I love this chapter more than all of them so far! I sound redundant, but you're getting better and better. I read this chapter in about twenty seconds because I was so drawn in :-P

Again, the only technical problem I'm seeing is the tense changes. And also, I noticed a couple of confusing things - for example, you wrote that the egg would hatch within a week - and you said that would be 'today or tomorrow'. If I remember correctly, they chose their eggs a couple of days after the party, right? And yet the date with Gavin hasn't happened yet...? Maybe I'm missing something, but either way, make sure you use the correct time spaces, etc. Don't want to confuse anyone!

So now that I've read all you have up, I can say PLEASE update soon! And can you do me a favor and request again in my review thread when you have some more up, so I know? I'm afraid otherwise I'll forget to keep track of this.

Great job!

Blaire

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really thrilled that you like it! And the timeline, well, the date between Gavin and Irene was supposed to happen two weeks after the party, but I suppose I didn't explain that too well. I'll make sure to fix that part when I'm editing. And I'll definitely let you know when I've updated. Thanks again, Blaire! *huggles*

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