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Review:Browneyes101 says:
Here I am again. :)

Okay so here's the deal, I normally only do two chapters but since you only have three up I'll do all three. Now without further adue, your review.

First off I think that Ada was a bit too excited. I know at the beginning she just found out she was a witch, but for me I think she was going by stereotypes. You do have some fragments that I see throughout this chapter. I can't put all of them up here but I will put a few that I seen.

"This is so creepy. And exciting." (Lower case the a in and instead of putting a period, put a comma.)

'I shook my head.' "This must be some kind of a mistake. It just can’t be true-" (Before head put a comma.)

"That is so cool." (Correction: That was so cool.)

I suggest getting a beta to fix these problems.

Another thing that I noticed was that you put was too many dashes. Their is no need to use a dash in half the sentences in this chapter. I noticed it in the last chapter too, but here it was extreme. You also have some miss spellings, but I don't think I have room to put them.

Again, I'm sorry if I sound too harsh; I'm really a nice person. I do suggest getting a beta like I said before, they really help in situations like these.

Hope I helped.6/10

Browneyes

Author's Response: Hey there again! :)
Wow, really? I was actually under the impression that I made her a bit too un-excited. :O I mean, she did just find out that she could do magic, I don't think you could get too unrealistically excited about that, ya know? :) That's just my opinion though, and of course I appreciate yours. :) And thanks for pointing all that stuff out, I know I have a huge problem with tenses, and quite an unhealthy issue with putting dashes in every other line. xD As for the misspellings, sorry, this is where I have to object. ;] I really don't think there's any, except probably mixing ways British and American people spell words.
Don't worry, you weren't too harsh, far from it. :) Thanks once again for taking the time to review! *hugs*


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