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Review:Browneyes101 says:
Here I am as you requested...again. :)

I really enjoyed this chapter, it was very happy-go-lucky and to me their are very few chapters out there like this, so it is a good change. The description was well done, though I do think you could use more. Marisol, I see a lot of her character coming out; that's good for the fifth chapter. Her personality is very important for a reader to connect with the main character(s), and also that they understand the position she is in.

Here comes the bad news. I think that this chapter went a bit fast/slow. I don't know how a person can do this but you manged to do it, somehow. At the beginning you went kinda fast and went directly to the situation; some people may like this and some may not. Try to slow down a bit, but if you like it the way it is then please ignore this part. Towards the end you went kinda slow, as to were it got kinda dull. See if you could put together some kind of detraction, but I think that it's coming because things are just going too well.

Hope I helped.9/10

Browneyes

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your feedback. I think my pacing got better after this chapter... I certainly hope so, that is.

I'm still glad that you told me about the pacing problem with this chapter and when I'm finished with this story then I will definitely go back over this chapter to see what I can do to perhaps even out the pace a bit when I get more time on my hands. I really appreciate you telling me about that.

I'm happy to hear that you still enjoyed the chapter though and thought it was happy. Thanks again for reviewing. =)


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