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Review:Ydnas Odell says:
Very lovely and evocative. Quite simply one of the most beautiful dark fics I've read. Just grand.

I did find a few typos and I would suggest changing the opening line. The opening line is the most important in any story and I just don't think 'slipped upward out of unconsciousness' works. The two u's create the wrong pace and throw it off.

It would be better to delete the first nine words and start it with: "It wasn't the pain she first noticed."

A ten of course!

DA Jones

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