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Review:Leo072491 says:
Okay this chapter was much better than the last. The part with Harry and Ginny was realstic. Now you just need to make the parts with Dudley and Lavender just as realistic. I liked this chapter a lot more. I still suggest the outline thing. Even a lot of flashbacks through the story would help. I would probably break up the sentences a bit more. And yes I think people will read this especially after you make a few changes. Congradulations on even getting this far. :D

~Leo

Author's Response: Thank you again for your feedback. I appreciate all the help. I promise that I will do my best to make the flashback scenes with Dudley/Lavender and Dudley/Luna realistic and believable.

Thanks as well for the idea of breaking up the sentences more. As a novice writer, varying sentence structure is something that I'm working on.


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