Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:square says:
The anonymity at the beginning of the story was very powerful. It brought the reader in to focus on Lily's feelings; her trepidation and attachment to Sirius, and the veiled feeling that they were doing something they shouldn't be. The way you revealed their identities was very well done, just throwing in their names nonchalantly, as if we should have known all along who they were and it makes the reader feel as if they actually did.

I particulalry liked your characterisation of Sirius - he was very hesitant, and yet the way you portrayed it practically shouted his tension. Reading it, you could easily see that he was holding everything back and keeping it in check, and it added a very (dare I say it? :P ) romantic quality to the entire thing. I'm assuming that's what you were going for, because the entire piece, particularly the ending, was very poignant and lovely.


The main risk with a romance fic is that you might fall into the fluffy-cliche trap, and thankfully you avoided it with leaps and bounds! There were just a few typos here and there, and words missing (I do that a lot, when my brain's going faster than my typing and I end up skipping odd words), and getting a beta wouldn't hurt. Or even just someone to do a quick once-over and point out any obvious mistakes. The standard of your writing was very high though, and I enjoyed reading it. :o)

Author's Response: Wow... That was the most amazing review I've EVER recieved! You just completely nailed it, I'm really in shock about how much you spotted and picked up.

The typo's; I tend to do that, I dunno, it's really hard spotting them on the screen and I didn't print it out as I usually do. I really get caught up in the moment when I write and yeah, type really fast.

Afterwards when I read it through once again I spotted some mistakes, but I couldn't correct them because of the queue closer and all...

The cliches: haha... Well, I absolutely despise cliches so I was certain that my story was not about to become just another annoying fluffy one-shot. I'm very happy to hear it wasn't since I tried ever so hard not to.

Thanks for your amazing review and I'm so happy that you enjoyed it:]


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 189
Submit Report: