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Review:Browneyes101 says:
Here I am as you requested. :)

I would like to say that I am so sorry you had to wait for such a long time. I'm afraid that school has been busy, but now that I'm out I'll be able to put more time into reviews. Now without further adue, your review (That rhymed hehe.).

The beginning was very interesting,and I enjoyed knowing how Haley felt. I think it's important to get a good feel for the characters. Haley seems really troubled in the beginning, probably because she feels she doesn't belong. Your description was well done, but I do think you can come on stronger than you did in this chapter (I'll go more into this in the second chapter.). The flow went smoothly and I could tell that their was a bit of a rush at the end.

Now, time for the bad news. I do think you could use some more description on this chapter. I, for one, am a big fan of description and not a whole lot of readers share my views; so if you think that it is fine with description please ignore this part. The second thing that I see is that you seem to pick up speed at the end. Kinda like when you're typing and you see that you're almost done and really want to get it to a close, so you type faster and may speed up, which I am also guilty of.

Hope I helped.8/10

Browneyes

Author's Response: Thanks for dropping in to review: Don't worry about the wait.

I'm glad that you thought you found this chapter interesting. I see what you are saying about the descriptions but I'm going to do a major edit of the whole story while the queue is closed (no changes to the actual plot but just spelling, grammar, descriptions and some minor character tweaks) so I will take care of this problem then.

Thanks again for you review!




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