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Review:queen_luna says:
Hi, this is queen_luna here to review as requested :)

First of all, I read your disclaimer and I was like "Ah! You HAVE to read the books! Only because they're AMAZING." Seriously :P

As a whole, this one-shot was very enjoyable to read. I like post-Hogwarts H/Hr, and I really like reading about this type of scenario--when they get caught up in the world and don't know what to do. I do have a few pointers for you:

1. Your time cues ("one week later," "the next evening," etc) are a little abrupt. I would try working them into the actual story.
2. Hermione seems a little OOC and quite honestly, the word "damn" appears too much for a story from the POV of a girl like Hermione. But then again, fanfiction is likely to be OOC and you presented an interesting side of Hermione that is fun to read :)
3. There were a few grammar errors, typos I'm sure, that could be easily fixed with a thorough proofread or the help of a beta.

So, I think you represented the Beatles song very well with all the social galas and parties Harry and Hermione danced at. And the ending, with the kiss, is very sweet and cute. Great job. Keep writing!

~queen_luna

Author's Response: lol, i just never thot that they were really any good. i did read them, 1-6, but never got into them

glad to hera that you enjoyed it

1. makes sense, i'll deffinitley consider going back and fixing that!
2. well i guess i figured with maturity there would also come an acceptance for that sort of thing (esp when ron was her best friend) one that makes her more acceptable of it-- and even willign to use it when depressed or angry, you know?
3. yeah, i'm putting in a beta request this wkend, thanks for reminding me to, i;'ve been meanign to do that one!

ooh, so glad to hear i represented the beatles song as i wasnt too sure how well i pulled that off lol


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