My first review for this story, despite the fact that I've been working on it fro a few days now!
First let me say that your power of description is amazing. The way you assembled this story, turning the series into your own was phenomenal. I love the missing moment feel to this story, despite the fact that the moments weren't really missing at all. They were just never described properly. I also love your take on Ginny. She is the independent character that I so loved before coming to this site, where the opinions of others tainted my view of her, I am sad to say. =( However, you caught the good side of her, the side that Jo Rowling always tried to show. The difference between Jo's story and your own is that Ginny's behaviour within the actually series seemed (forgive me, Jo XD) almost Mary-Sue, because of the small amount of time we got to spend with her. You pulled this off amazingly, definitely going into my favourites.
Now onto this chapter specifically. First, I must comment on how much you are making the Wizarding World War seem like the Holocaust, especially with the Burning of the Books. It works for this story though.
I also love how Ginny is finding out more and more about Lily and Snape’s friendship. The only thing I have to say about this, though, is that Ginny appearing everywhere at exactly the right time to hear what she needs to hear is almost unbelievable. Her investigative abilities are amazing, but not something that seems out of place for her. I love that you had the information she was searching for right under her nose the entire time. It seems exactly the type of irony that occurs day-to-day. I commend you.
I adore your take on Neville. He is exactly the type of Gryffindor that we saw when he sliced that snake in two. I love that he defends his friends so loyally, and takes on his role as a leader. You have done a brilliant job of characterizing each character as a matter of fact. Ginny’s fiery temper is intact, Neville’s way of progressing from shy to brave is realistic, Luna’s slightly ditzy attitude is believable, even Draco is accurate. Scratch that, ESPECIALLY Draco. His unattached way of saving his own arse is characteristic of Slytherins. Perfect. In parts, it actually seemed to be leading towards Ginny/Draco, which would have been ironic (and disappointing considering the story) because of the joke Luna made. I love Angerona as a character as well. Quite the mature person for someone so young.
I love the compassion Ginny has for Snape, and how similar you made parts of their story, particularly the way they fell for the green eyes. I do recall that Lily’s middle name was Marie…but perhaps that’s only my assumptions from the other fics I’ve read. Dumbledore’s character is spot on, and I love how you added the bit about him weeping. ‘Course, we all know now what he saw! ;)
I adore how you alternate from ‘he/she said’ all the time. I love how you instead say indirectly that someone said something. I also love that Ginny had Hermione to talk to, and then Tonks. As a matter of fact, I love how much Ginny related to Tonks, because it seemed believable.
Ginny seemed kind of detached throughout the whole Pensieve scene. Where she usually speaks more about her feelings than about what happened, I felt as though you were only explaining the occurrences, and not her reactions to them. It was only after she was removed from the Pensieve that she reacted.
Overall, really good. And I wrote almost a page and a half, so I hope I was of some help! 9/10!
Author's Response: It's always nice to have long reviews.
As much as I would have loved to see more of Ginny in the books, I understand. The story wasn't a romance, nor a story of how HArry found the love of his life. It was about Voldie and Harry... always has been, always will be. So yes, when we get to see Ginny, we see the good things, because why would we want Harry to get together with someone who isn't good? It does make her appear a bit Mary-Sueish. A BIT!
i'm only following JK's trend of making the Wizarding war feel like WWII. All that obsession about pure-blood, rounding up the Muggleborns, calling them less than animals, etc etc...
And once again, I'm following JK Rowling's formula in places for story telling. Without Harry's amazing ability to be in the right place at the right time, he wouldn't know very much either. Just take a look back through the books sometime and you'll see what I mean. I commend JK, because it IS a great story telling device... eavesdropping.
I would NOT write a Ginny/Draco. But I was trying to give them a connection, maybe even hint that Draco might see Ginny as more. I don't think he did, mind you, I just wanted to give that feeling that there was. (and then my little jab at the ones that were hoping. hehehe)
According to the HArry Potter lexicon, Lily's middle name is unknown. So I think Marie might be a fanfiction invention although I have never heard of it.
I'll consider your feelings about the pensieve.