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Review:harmony5 says:
Right then...okay. You REALLY need to work on your spelling/grammar and whatnot. I have no idea how old you are, you should be of age to write something like that, and over all, it was very confusing. Take time to build your plot, this should have taken place over like 5 chapters, try not to rush, and think about what you are writing. Overall, I really dislike this story. Take some time to improve your writing before you post something again.

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