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Review:Girldetective85 says:
Hey, I'm here to review :)

Well this was somewhat of an odd story, since we already know all about the Marauders' Map and what it does in canon. I guess we never got to see Hermione or Ron using it though, so it was interesting to see what the Marauders had to say about them. I guess that book is where they got the idea for the map? And also for their name? I would have thought they'd have been creative enough to think of these things themselves without having to get the idea from a book, but I can see your reasoning.

The story moved a bit slow for me and also, why doesn't Ron just use the map right after Hermione? Why does he need to wait until tomorrow? The Marauders aren't going anywhere, right?

I saw grammar errors scattered throughout and here are a few:

"She was amazed, however, as she saw the red and ebony head bending over what seemed like a book." (The "as" should be changed to "when," so: "She was amazed when she saw the red and ebony heads)

‘What’re you two up to?’ she asked intriguingly, pulling a chair and the book to herself. (The word "intriguingly" doesn't sound right when it's used to describe a tone of voice; it should be changed to "she asked, intrigued, pulling a chair")

In some places where you had dialogue, you forgot to add in a comma at the end of it. Like here:

‘Wormtail’s so stupid’ Ron said.

Should be: "Wormtail's so stupid," Ron said.

So just keep an eye out for those! Good luck with the rest of the story, hope I helped.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the helpful review. Ok, everyone reads this chapter and is diappointed because of the grammar and punc. mistakes, which are not so frequent in the next chapters. So I'm going to re-submit this chappie after improving it. I'll keep all the points you mentioned in mind. I feel stupid now, lol.

Thanks and yes, you did help :)


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