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Review:SilverThimble says:
Hello, SilverThimble from the forums here :)
It does say no Marauders in my rules, but I'll let you off because (for once) it wasn't cliched or annoying.

But wow, it was long. It might have worked better as a chaptered story, but I guess that's your call. Because of it's length I had to just note down things I noticed as I went, so this could be a bit disjointed:

She took out her note pad and a quill so she could take notes, but just as she opened the booklet Harry took the quill from her, “Um, do you have a fetish for quills or something because if not I’ll be needing that.” : Shouldn't it be James? And that's a strange thing to say.

“You’re awfully sweet, you know that?” she spat.: I can't remember why I copied this... I think it's because I was surprised that she was spitting at him after knowing him for such a short space of time.

Lily avoided Alice’s eyes after that statement. While she didn’t want to agree with her she couldn’t exactly deny it either. “Should I use the twenty-three or the twenty-eight centimetre?”

“He called women vicious?”

Lily nodded.

“Then I’d say go for the twenty-eight, love.”
I cracked up :)

I was great in DADA you know, I can help.” : Would you really say Defense against the dark arts like that to a person who didn't even go to Hogwarts?

Why Beauxbatons? i know there needed to be a reason why they havn't met, but couldn't she have just been a random girl in his year he never really noticed? seems more logical to me.

Flowers in the Attic wacky: ? Ok, I looked it up and i get what you mean, but if I don't know what it is, how would a wizard?

General comments: there was too much dialogue and there could have been a lot more dialogue and detail, especially in the mystery aspect.
I also didn't quite get why Lily hates him so much. He wasn't so awful to her - unless she was extremely uptight, and then she probably wouldn't have sworn so much.
And why was the Auror department being audited? unless I misunderstood- but it seems too imporatant. Also, it's not a cliche on this site, but I've seen countless movies with this plot.

Overall it was interesting and a nice twist on your standard James/Lily

76%

Author's Response: you made a really good point and i appreciate that. i mean, yeah it wasnt the best review i've recieved for this fic, but it was honest and i really adore that about it.

i really hope to have a chance to use your review forum again as i think that you have amazing input to give and i'm really grateful for it!

p.s. i actually honestly thought that everyone knew about flowers in the attic... it's kidn fo one of those creepy books that everoyone seemed to kwo about whenever i drew parallels to it, i'm so sorry that wanst teh case though


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