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Review:inkismyworld says:
Inkismyworld from the forums here
:
Wow, that was a major plot twist concerning the mysterious attacker! Overall I enjoyed how this wasn't the typical James/Lily fic where he bothers her through out thier school days and then they suddenly fall in love- but I digress.

Although I enjoyed it throughly, I do have some points that seem to stand out for correction:

“That pun is far too trite for me to deem it worthy of a response.”

The text before and after that seemed more Moody-ish than the above line which just seemed too...sophisticated, for him to say.

Also I would strongly suggest that you make this into a short story. Not just for your reader, ( some may be put off by such a long one-shot) but also to allow you flesh out the plot more because it has great potential, but it just seemed rushed
when split into sections like it is.

~~~

Hope that helps :)

Author's Response: 1. lol glad that caught you off gaurd. some peopel guessed it and others didnt so it's always ufun tyo see the varying reactions to that one
2. interesting point about moody... i'll definitley put it into consideration
3. i did actually consider that, but as i started writing it i realized that if i added a bit to this i could only do about 2 or 3 pages more if i didnt add a bunch of unneccessary filler scenes. i also tried splitting this up into numerous chaps but that didnt work either as there really just didnt seem to be a good point where i could do that

but i'll see if i can change that now-- who knows maybe with a bit of time away from the fic i'll be able to do that, thanks for pointign it out!


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