I cried. I did. At the end. In a bus on my way home. It's in my favorites and stays there forever. What a beautiful story. And the language you use, how you're a poet, just like Erin and Missy. You have such a unique skill, such a way to express what is often left unsaid. God, I loved this. Every word of it.
What amazes me is your ability to shift scenes; it flows so perfectly that I... I didn't even notice the transitions. That is a skill I feel envious of. I would like to learn to do that. The best example of this is when Minerva realises that it's not what she wants. You did that perfectly, and I know, because I read with my heart and nothing interfered with the story. I don't know how you do it, but I want to learn it. ^_^
I love the fact that he's almost human with her, in that short moment, he's almost a person, wants to be a person who could love. And yet, he isn't. Nothing but a monster... and she regrets. I love your words, Susan. I love this story. And there's just no critique. You are a 10/10 girl, dear. *Hugs*
Author's Response: Oh dear, I didn't want to make anyone cry with this story! One day, I will write a non-cryable story.... To be compared with Erin and Missy? Wow. I didn't think that was possible, especially for me. *makes note to write like this more often*
I was very worried about that part when Minerva decides she doesn't want any of this. It felt too abrupt to me, so it's good to hear that it worked for you, Johanna. That was definitely a part I was uncomfortable with, and had re-written it already once. So I guess that means it was all luck with getting the scenes to transition properly. :P
Yes! In your last paragraph, you got it. =D Tom almost becomes someone else, he almost takes back some of the soul he lost, but doesn't quite catch it, or understand it. Well, now that I think of it, that is a very heartbreaking part of the story, the realisation that Tom can't turn back, that he has no chance of becoming human.
Thanks so much for taking the time to do this, Johanna. Your reviews mean very much to me and I appreciate that you took the time to read and review this story. ^_^