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Review:Rose Wilts says:
Hey there! It's rose Wilts from the forums. Wow, that was long! You have the right to be proud. :)
Now, this was a really sweet, original idea for a story. Your writing style is quite developed, and it flows. The only problem I have is that I thought you used too much dialogue. I would've liked you to set and describe the scene more. Though, the dialogue was funny and pretty realistic (given the situation...)
I thought the you characterized everyone reasonably well, particularly moody at the start. I loved how you made out that they didn't know each other, it was so refreshing instead of the old cliche of hating each other and then suddenly kissing. Ha ha. Overall very interesting. Sweet, flowing, creative etc...great job.

Rose

Author's Response: Yeah it was a long one wasn’t it? Ironically enough though, I don’t even really know how it happened. I mean I had this distinct plan of what I wanted to do, but as I started writing it just seemed to take on a mind of its own and ultimately I had a 22 pg story in 8.5 size font lol!

As for your comment on the balance in dialogue and description, I totally see where you’re coming form on that count and I really take it to heart, plan on keeping that in mind when I start revising as I think it’s a very valid and reasonable point to make.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I particularly enjoyed your in-depth response with a variety of comment ranging from “the good the bad, and the ugly” lol

Thank you,
Cosmo!


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