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Review:inabena57 says:
I really like the idea, though this first chapter really doesn't cach the eye so much. I think it's a interesting plot idea, but since you haven't really gotten to develope it fully, then we can't be drawn in too much. Truthfully, I'm only slightly intrigued. You need something to bring in readers and have them wanting more. I personally would read the next chapter and those after that, because I like the idea and the writing style.

It's got potential, you just need something to spice it up a bit. Some type of conflict, so to speak.

I like the description and the use of narration, opposed to dialogue. I especially loved the beginning, with Fenrir Greyback. Your characterization is great, everyone seems to be in character [well from what we see of them] they're developed very well/

The flow was great, and again, I loved the description and detai. Then again, that's me who loves description to a strange level. :P

Anyway I like the plot, and Like I said I like your writing style, and I think this has a lot of potential.

xo Angelina

P.S. Sorry about the extremely overdue review! I've been up to my neck in work, and everything else... sorry again hun. Oh, and Happy New Year! 2008!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the honesty! *hugs* I need motivational reviews like this to make me work harder, I've been getting lazy.

Thanks for the comments, and I was extremely worried about my flow for the chapter!

Thanks so much, and no worries about the belated review, I know life can get pretty hectic!


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