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Review:Quiddichref says:
First off, I want to compliment you on your ability to use language and spell correctly! Too many young writers today have been betrayed by a school system that encouraged them to just get their ideas down on paper without any need to think about form. You seem to know that it's important to control the medium.

As to story, I thought the first part (down to where they break off the kiss) was much stronger than the end. I think flashbacks are difficult to pull off; it's always hard to get back to real time smoothly. I think what you did was get to the main point, and then get in a rush to finish. Correct me if I'm wrong.

It's interesting that this is the second of your stories I've stumbled over today...I don't review many of those I read because they are so awkward, or so badly mis-use English. If you are a student, you have great potential.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your kind words. I'm a college student -- an English major, actually -- so I always read through my stories a few times for spelling and grammar before posting them.

You're right about the story itself. The flashback was meant to be the primary focus of it, so I can understand why you thought the ending was too abrupt. I did sort of intend for it to be that way, though.

Thank you for another great review! I appreciate it. :)


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