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Review:chillychick95 says:
Nice Story, great finish and start! I like how you defined the characters very well in the first paragraghs. Introducing early sets you up for later chapters. Now to the technical stuff. You need to stick to one tense. Present or past? The story kept alternating. Also you need to read you stories or get a beta (like an editor) to read them to make sure their is no grammatical or spelling errors (Spell Check doesn't pick up everything) like when you said "Rose was an excellent chaser, not as good as James, and was an excellent chaser" or when Lily says "I think important is happening" She is younger than James but not that much. Their were a few grammatical errors in the piece but otherwise a GREAT performance and a really good story. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. Thanks for pointing out my mistakes, grammar isn't my strong point. I'm planning on getting a Beta for my story ASAP.

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