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Review:Hellen Malfoy says:
Over all this was an ok story.

Teh part where you had the spirit write on the blackboard and the nails on the blackboard gave me a chill.

However the story was very wordy. Also you didn't use many names although i guessed many of the characters names (that was easy) but whats the problem with use a name instead of saying a girl or a boy?

Thats mainly what i have to say.

~Hellen Malfoy

Author's Response: When I wrote this for the challenge, I used it as a way to develop my descriptive writing skills, particularly my use of imagery, I guess this could come off as being too wordy. I purposely did not include the names of the characters, I wanted the reader to know who they were through the descriptions. I was kind of trying to describe the scene from the perspective of a stranger who didn't know who the characters were, but of course those familiar with HP would easily be able to guess who they were, this was my intention.

Thank-you so much for reviewing, I appreciate your critique.


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