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Review:Utopia says:
This was a bit rushed; you need more description in here!

How are they behaving when alone with each other, what mannerisms are on display? What facial expressions? What are they feeling?

Why is the indifferent Jasmine being so different? Why throw a spanner in the works.

I need more background than you are providing the reader with! I'll be back in a week to see if you've made any alterations - please, be part of my favourites list because of the story, not becaue of me wanting to check on it's quality and missing links! please.

Author's Response: thanks for that, after reading again i did notice a few things that i could have added to make it more descriptive!

i've added more so hopefully it's more descriptive now, i've also included more on jasmine, and why is she so different? she just wan't to find out what's going on!

i hope this story stays on your fav's hun...but well, there's nothing else i can really do about that if you choose not to can i? *shrugs*

Thanks for all your really helpful and useful reviews, they were good! *hugs*


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