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Review:the nutty imp says:
Draco was OOC... He just doesn't feel like Draco. there's the lack of haugthy arrogance that so much imbedded in his characterization. Although some authors does this and get away simply because they showed how certain events changed him. You unfortunately failed to do that here. Draco simply popped out and he isn't Draco.

The story feels a bit too choppy you'd need to work on your transitions on this piece. You can try and set up the mood with some description for each section.

You also started off too many sentences with "She", try to vary it a bit. :) I would also suggest that you vary your dialogue structure. I mean instead of:
"bla bla bla" he said
"bla bla bla" she said
try:
She rolled her eyes and shot back "bla bla bla"
"bla bla bla" he responded.
Move the dialogue position around and try to use alternative to the word said. It just slightly overused here.

You depicted Ginny well and showed her sorrow clearly. Like how her mind wandered and reminiscence on the past and wonder about the 'what-ifs'. A good and sweet ending.


Author's Response: Yes Draco was weird. and I'm working on the novel telling all about Draco's change and many more things. This story comes last. i hope it clears the confusion about him up. As for saying she too much and the dialogue structure I don't know what else to do. I'm not the best writer with perfect writing skills. I'm just making do with the skills that I have. Sorry if I sound snappy. I'm glad you liked the ending. thanks for the review. =]

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