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Review:nmpsr_14 says:
Hi! Here from Review Revenue! I know, different username.

First of all, it was a good read. Something different.

In the beginning the word 'she' was used quite frequently. It seemed very choppy with 'she' being overused. It eventually got better over the course of the story.

Some spelling and grammatical errors proved to be somewhat of a disctraction, though I purely understand that this site is not the most convenient one for editing.

The storyline was cute with Ginny building this imaginary world where everyone is alive and happy, as it should be. Although it was confusing at first to get into it.

Draco was really OoC, something that usually doesn't sit well with me. You should put history into their friendship, possibly how it began. Make it a more pausible storyline. I understand he told Ginny about how he just wanted his father to be proud of him and how he was envious of Harry. It was a good idea to include that in.

His eyes that were usually filled with love and happiness and even fear and hate were now completely devoid of any emotion.

That quote struck me -- in a good way :D. Flows nicely, and I do look for these kinds of phrases that stick in my mind after reading a story.

So overall, good job. Watch out for errors, possibly get a beta. Put more backstory into the plotlines. And that's all I really have to say :D


Author's Response: Yes I'm not the best speller everyone makes mistakes. I'm going to redo it sometime and fix all the typos and everything. Yeah i get mixed up and I don't know if I should use her name or she or what. It's always been a problem of mine. I know no one would expect this of Draco. I'm working on a novel right now having to do with Voldemort's downfall and it explains everything in it so I hope it clears some of that confusion up. I love the quote as well. I'm usually a fairly decent writer but then I'll just throw something random out there that is awesome. So I'm glad you read my story. I love the awesome review. i'll go to your stories(if you have any) tomorow because my grandma is kicking me off the comp now. Again thanks for the review. =]

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