Ooooh... my god. This is just great, my dear! Where do I even start? The dream in the beginning was so intense. I really enjoyed the sense of hectic confusion, and all the familiar faces, all these people that are usually so happy that are suddenly angry and dark. The descriptions were perfect - just detailed enough to make an impact, but vague enough for a dream. Especially when Lupin said "I'm ashamed of you." That paragraph was a bit of a punch in the stomach, both for Harry and for me as a reader. I liked that a lot.
One thing I noticed as I was reading was the specific emphasis put on certain statements. Just the little sentences that are in their own paragraph. I liked how you structured them that way, because in my head I read those sentences slightly differently than others. "So many expecations," for example. It was just so much heavier by itself than it would be in a paragraph. Lovely little details like that.
Your version of Cedric is... Well, I adore him, of course. He's unlike the Cedric I'm used to, but not in a way that makes him out of character. He just brings a certain vibrancy that I enjoy very much. Even when things get serious at the end, he's grinning and even though Harry is feeling so low, it makes the whole thing feel more optimistic. I like it, I like what you've done with his character so far.
This reminds me, that bit at the very end, with Cedric's hand? It was dripping with purpose, how Cedric only moved when he noticed Harry looking. I love those little details, and that one made me squee just a little bit. ;)
This is a LOVELY start, my friend. I can't wait to see where this goes next. As usual, I loved it. And thank you very much for writing it. I barely ever find this ship and really enjoy it. =)))
Author's Response: My LaDorki!!!!! *grins HUGELY and stupidly hehe*
Yay, I'm so glad you like this! I had fun writing it, and, erm, I'm still writing it and enjoy it, so I hope you'll keep liking it! Hehe!!
The dream! I'm glad you got it, and you liked the intesity and the darkness. It was meant to be really dark, really haunting. Harry, happily ever after? HAHA, yeah no, the boy needs some problems for life to feel normal for him, hehe.
I'm ashamed of you.. Ah, I hated and loved that part, and I had to use it... It had to come back for him....
The sentences as their own paragraphs! I think I picked that up from reading others' fanfic? I like the way the sentances sit there and feel different when they're all there on their own. Like you have to actually touch the phrase and hold it before you can go on. I'm glad you liked that!
Cedric! I feel so strange writing him because... well... I write people that I know. Like I feel like I totally know Harry, Hermione, Ron, and, well I'm feeling comfortable with Draco even. But Cedric, I feel so... like I'm hanging free out there left into a bit of outer space trying to feel around for who Cedric is. Heh. The only fanfic Cedric I've read is yours, so I'm not sure how he's usually written. But I'm glad you feel the vibrancy, and the optimism. Those are very important things to feel around Cedric. (o;
Ah, Cedric's hand!!! Ha, would you believe that's something I've been trying to learn from your writing?? Honestly! I try to practice what I learn in your stories.. about showing what people are thinking or feeling, rather than saying it. I'm trying to do that, anyway. And you're quite skilled at it!
Anyway, next chapter is coming, possibly today, I'll see! LoL. And it has a little more... erm... well.. a little more in it, lol. Hehe, can't wait to hear from you again, dear!