Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:GinnyWeasleyPotter says:
Yay, first chapter's up! ^^ Glad you decided to take up the challenge. This was a good first chapter! We could have used a bit more background information, and more detail would have been good, though the chapter was fine without it. I love the first paragraph: She was cold. She was as cold as Azkaban. She was as scared as one grew near a Dementor. She did not understand why this was happening. She understood that the Wizarding world was in the midst of a war, but why her? Simply because she was Muggle born? That was not reason enough for her. She would not get to watch her four month old baby girl, Liv, grow up if they took her away. I like your writing style, this first paragraph was just great :D
From where they hear a crash and then Heidi packs and everything I think that there could have been a bit more emotion. I felt that it was missing something. I do like, how at the end, you mentioned how the bedroom held so many memories, we can connect with the OC more that way when you write things like that =) Overall, good job, can't wait to read the second chapter!
xo Lauren

Author's Response:
I'm glad you enjoyed. :) The challenge was, well, a challenge for me. I've never attempted anything like this, but I really am enjoying the story so far. I'm glad you like my style. :) That means a lot to me. I can definitely inject more emotion into the second half of the chapter. No problem. :) I'll let you know when the next chapter is up.

-Carrie


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 306
Submit Report: