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Review:ev the phoenix says:
hi, um, I'm on the first chapter of your story and cannot continue, because of the lack of grammer, and the forward slashes! they are very anoying, and have no meaning in your story, I sugest that you learn how to punctuate your writing prperly. I'm sory, but I would have liked this story, but I cannot continue. I give this effort a one.

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