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Review:chd1026 says:
This is cute, and on most levels, I like it.
Your description of the house, though looong, is captivating and detailed. I felt like I was that curious child, exploring the depths of this new, mysterious place. Very nice!
I also like that Ellie is riding this ancient broom, instead of the fancy one that she could easily afford. Makes it cooler, I guess. Is there further meaning to that broom? Hm...
Well, the Potter's are next door, right? I'm guessing =]
Okay, just a question: Why are there all those A/N throughout the story? Although funny, they interrupt the flow of things and confuse the reader. I just feel like this chapter could use some editing, because things of this length become tiresome to read.
In the next few chapters, be careful the Ellie does not turn into a Mary-Sue. She has so much potential to spunky and unique, but if you continue to write her the way you are she could fall into that category.
Also, I'd suggest finding a beta. It's quick and easy, and they could help you tune up your chapters and catch small errors.
But keep writing and perfecting your technique, for this story could be funny and original if you work hard enough!
XXX

Author's Response: I feel like I get the same answers/questions every time .i guess I know what I need to strengthen. I'm just about ot go over it again and beta it myself, because when two people think I need to, it's pretty obvious I've got work to do. Thanks for the review!

~ Caroline

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