Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:AndrinaBlack says:
I had to come and check out one of your stories as I have seen so much praise of them around the forums. I'm glad I did! I will be back to read more.

As to this story. Let's start with the title. It was that which caught me first to read this one of your stories. "Temptation" is such an intriguing word. Whisper it and it sounds beautiful (like "enchantment" too). It also combines something beautiful and something forbidden.

This chapter is really intense and I like your writing style! There were a couple of small typos in the first half of the story, so I have forgotten them already, but I hope you don't mind if I point out a error. Just that in this bit it changes from past to present: "The way she tossed her hair to catch some unsuspecting boy’s attention; the slight furrow in her brows when she’s studying; the soft tinge of pink that colors her ears when she’s angered."

I didn't see Remus' realisation coming at all, but it was really brilliantly done, how he realised who it was in reality who tempted him. I also liked that you didn't tell at once who the girl was, so I kept wondering who of the Black sisters it was until the name was mentioned. I think you pulled off both pairings very well! Narcissa/Remus is a very interesting idea and I like it because it gives place to a lot of tension. The ending was also surprising for me because I would have imagined Remus talking himself out of it and not leaving that abruptly and in an almost mean way. But we all have those emotional and mean moments.

Though Remus seems a little different here from most stories I have read, he still stays in character. I had maybe not imagined him quite like this at school age, but that he would have developed into a more forsible person when he became an adult. I can see in this story something off all the essential characteristics I imagine him having though. He is caring, has a (little dry) sense of humor, has this strong personality (or how to explain it) and still has a bit of shyness.

I liked this a lot!
Annina


Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much. It's rare I get lengthy reviews like this anymore and I sooo adore it. I don't mind you pointing out typos or errors at all...that's the only way I learn. I have trouble with Remus and that's why I tried to tackle him with this one shot without committing to something longer. He is one tough character. Again, thank you so much for the kind review and suggestions for improvement, I truly appreciate it!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 497
Submit Report: