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Review:hermioneiskewl says:
uh, how is that mature? you're a great writer! but.use more pronouns like saying 'him' instead of 'ron' in the dream because it's really a mouthful to say it over and over again. i love the story! harry skips a lot though and it just doesn't seem in character. sorry to write so much! i love the story and you should definitely keep writing!

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