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Review:AloneintheDark says:
Wow. Simply wow. I wish I could leave some sort of critiqu here. I feel all warm and happy inside.

The ending was terrific, and the flashbacks were placed accordingly. You are by far very talented, as many ofthe authors I have seen enter a flasback have had to intrude their plotline to inform us of something that happened earlier (pre-story). But here, I think it probably would have slowed down the pace fo your story had yu not insertd the flashbacks.

Your description was just rght for my taste, detailed, but notoverwhelming. An actual book I am reading, the Killer Angels, is a terrific exampleof what NOT to do with description, because it is hard to understand what is going on. Not this, this was well done.

Don’t you think your parents would care if an eighteen year old boy was in a seventeen year old girl’s room – who just happened to be their one and only daughter – in the dead of the night?”

I loved that. It actually, strangely enough, made me laugh out loud. I fell out of my chair, actually. It is not even all that funny, but something about it hit me and I cracked.

The only thing I could possibly (and I feel bad for bringing it up, because it is really probably me just being in the crabby mood I am in) pont out is that your "I love you" was sort of rushed. But, yet, it wasn't. I guess it depends on your state of mind, you know? It was rushed in the fact that it was a tad unexpected, BUT it was well planned out at the mention at Katie Bell.

Overall, fantastic.


Author's Response: Oh, no, no, no. I totally agree. I reallly wanted to write this, and I had this whole idea planned and I forgot about the story for about 5 months or something, and I jsut decided to pick it up again and it was getting so long, I had to end it. But thank you. It means so much. I wasn't too sure about the final product but I'm glad it turned out aiight. =) Haha.

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