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Review:Dracana says:
"But as he is standing on Platform 9 3/4, the scarlet train before him waiting to usher the first Black since Narcissa to Hogwarts, the excitement of leaving his family and his determination to become the prince he is destined to be has vanished. " This is such a perfectly executed description, a proper insight to the character of Sirius, and a typical child sort of thinking range. It was such a nice introduction to the opening of the chapter, also.

The restraint Sirius' parents grate upon him is also cleverly shown and with a certain vasity of skill.

The way you compare Sirius to Narcissa is so wonderfully done -Narcissa knocking a first-year over and Sirius immediatly going to pick her up. Even if someone didn't know the basic outline of the marauders and the fact that Sirius was not made a Slytherin, you have a clear foreshadowing that this is going to happen.

Wow, I loved the conflict between Sirius and James, and how you carefully ease it towards friendship. It was just so nicely done - all the introductions to the characters and the immature way in which only a child can behave. "He looks at James out of the corner of his eye and hopes for some sort of wart to pop onto his face" - I picked this out because I love it; it made me laugh and it highlights the exact sort of behaviour I am talking about.

I love the way you describe the "crown slipping from his fingers" - his very identity unravelling to string him out into nothing, so that he feels almost desolate in his isolation that so deeply contrasts him from his family memebers. You built the tension in walking over to the Gryffindor table really well, and gave me the ability to visualise this.

Wow, your description of Lupin was beautiful - so simplistic yet so affective within its broadened imagery. I also admire how you can make them all converse in such a child-like way, not placing yourself here within their words as an author, but making it seem almost as if they are real. Ok, that doesn't make sense, my point is - you portray your charactrers beautifully and make them very real. Another compliment to you is that you are able to contain Sirius' character as a Black, with the dropped hints of prejudice and slight indications of spite, yet you do not make him totally evil, which is spot on and dead on character. VERY good.

And you rounded this all off so well. The discomfort at the table, the slight hurt Sirius may have felt at the jibes about poisoning food, the brief indication in his bitterness at his family's disappointment and then finally the depression that acknowledges he has lost everything that considered him valuable and in fact, the common room really does feel like home - a proper home, not one of cold and pretence that has restricted him so long. You leave this so full of promise and I'd really, really love it if you wrote some more.

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