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Review:dim at best says:
Hello, Lina dear! I've come to re-review your fabulous first chapter, after you (le shock) deleted this story earlier.

Okay, so, even though I've read this before, I am still marvelling at how much better your writing has gotten since the previous story. It wasn't bad before, definitely not hair-pulling-out worthy :P, but now there's just a sense of poetic-ness (I know it's not a word... bear with me) in your writing that makes the descriptions so much more beautiful and vivid.

Rora's observations, from the blowing candy wrappers, to the dancing leaves, to the rain, are all excellent examples of wonderfully written imagery. They all also give off a sense of change, which is a common theme within the whole chapter and necessary since Rora is a starkly different character than whom she was in the previous story. The little inanimate details revolving around change emphasize the theme and enhance the chapter. If you can't tell already - I loved them. ♥

This is honestly a great introduction, one of the better ones I've ever read. It establishes what has changed without shoving the information down our throats. I still can't get over how different things are since 'A new Beginning' left off - different, but not in a bad way. There's a more... mature sound to this chapter, helped by how your writing has grown since ANB. Aurora, older, is less innocent, less impressionable, and definitely a slight more wise. I love her all the more for it.

Great vocabulary use too by the way, the whole chapter just gave seemed to say 'look at me! I'm eloquent.'

- Terri

PS. Hate Cho, indeed. * shakes fist at powdery faced Harry-leech *

Author's Response: Haha, I'm so terrible to poor Cho =D She probably doesn't deserve it, but I've always found her a bit annoying xD

I'm so happy to hear that my writing improved since the yuckiness of ANB ^_^ I think writing so much is helping me . . . practice makes perfect, I suppose. And imagery has become increasingly important to me, I want the reader to be able to actually understand what characters are seeing, feeling, and going through.

One of the majopr themes (for me, at least) in ANB was loss, and I felt that too many fanfics overlook how traumatic losing someone actually is. It's important to get certain feelings right.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Lina


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