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Review:Pipperstorms says:
I think that you tied to do too many things too fast. I liked the main Idea of your story, but there were too many dramitc things that just don't seem plausable to me. I'd also like to point out, (more to James and not to you) that James Potter had been kissing girls left and right and sleeping with them, but he's gets angry over Lily kissing a guy. Jerk. Ahem. That said, you need to work on simplifiying the plot line. Puting so much into such a small space mkes the story a little childish. Please don't be angry with me. I like your writting and I like your ideas, I just think you need to work on clearing them up a bit.

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm really going to try to slow it down, I just get so caught up. I also plan to go back and do soem editing. Chapeter's 1-4 are edited.

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