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Review:Serenity0047 says:
just a comment about the formating. the spaces make it a little awkward to read. it's the new submission form they're using i think. i've had several problems with it too. i've found that when i type the story in Word, i have to leave out the spaces and let the form put the spaces in for me. for some reason, the form must not recognize the spaces in Word. so i just left them out and let the form put them in for me. works wonderfully now.
so on with the review. i thought it was really funny! i liked the comment about Vernon's sweaty hands. "where did he walk from, Bulgaria?" so funny! the only thing that i got caught up on was Vernon getting drunk at his girlfriend's parents' house and James attacking him. it seemed a little brash of James to do that, but I can also see how it would be used as a bit of foreshadowing. giving Vernon a taste of what he will be dealing with. overall, i thought it was fun to read and it made me smile. good job!

Author's Response: oh right. I'll fix the formating right now, thanks for pointing that out to me I would never have checked it!! :)
I wrote it ages ago, and now I wouldn't write something so 'out there' ie Vernon being drunk and James attacking him, but at the time it just felt right...tehe.
cheers for the great review!!


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